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It has been a while and I want to share a recent story I
experienced on my journey to health. Often times when I have written, it has
been after I have been walking in victory after victory. Since August 2012 I
have gone from over 300 pounds to half of the person I was. I am a living,
breathing, walking testimony of the miraculous healing power of my living,
loving God. As with all journeys there are bumps, bruises, and roads that lead
people astray. I would like to tell you about veering off the straight path to
freedom onto another path.
I would say since August 2013 I have been struggling with
eating too much of good, healthy food at times. I have been up and down 5
pounds at a time. I am committed to eating healthy but have given up sight to
eating only for fuel. My hopes in sharing with you ( as I have with a few accountability
partners this whole time) goes along with the Bible verse that says ‘when you
confess your faults one to another healing comes’. I know I do not have to
share with every one of you about this, but I am sharing not only for my healing
but also for one of you who may be in the same situation.
I have been up and down the past two months 10-12 pounds.
Again, though I am eating healthy foods I am eating far much more than I am
burning. You see, I only need to eat what I am going to burn and I do not burn
that many calories. Many people have said to me that I am not eating enough,
but I know that I am for I have enough energy for the things I do and all my
blood work comes back with excellent scores, when I am eating the way I am
supposed to. Lately I have not been having the energy I need and coupling that
with over eating the good things I do eat has created extra body weight. In
addition, it has been very difficult for me to drink all the water I know my
body needs these past couple of weeks (100 ounces daily). When these three are
not working properly in me I begin to gain weight and thus it affects my whole
life.
This morning Holy Spirit reminded me of February 2011 when I
wrote on Facebook in a note that I would like for God to take all the fat from
my life-physical, emotional, mental, financial, spiritual, relational, and in
my character. I am thankful God is so gracious and turned my heart back to the
lifestyle He has called ME to in the area of eating healthy.
I want to share a story of what recently happened to me in
regards to not being fully prepared for any given situation. I was at a friend’s
home for dinner and it came to dessert time. I was completely ready to say no
for dessert as I have done for the last year and a half and did so. I was not
prepared for what came next, though it seems so unreal to me what I did but
also made me realize I have to be prepared for any given situation. My friend
asked if I liked walnuts and my reply was yes (I would eat a walnut anytime if
I was hungry). She dug the walnut from the brownie she was eating and said ‘you
have got to try this’. I said no repeatedly and feeling the pressure, I caved.
I gave in. The nut barely had any brownie around it, but I would have never
chosen it for myself, because I know how addicted to sugar I am. THIS WAS MY
CHOICE I KNOW. My friend kept saying that she would not let me have any more
than what she had given me. The other friends at the table were telling my
friend nicely that I did not have to have it. There was so much pressure, that
is, THAT IS WHAT I was not prepared for and over a small nut surrounded by
brownie.
I took the bite and yes it was most delicious and I
immediately drank a whole bund of water to get the sugar off my tongue. Then my
friend dipped her finger into the chocolate sauce she made and said I had to
try that too. I absolutely refused. It was also neat because the other people
at the table said things like 'it is like giving an alcoholic a beer or a drug
addict dope; she does not have to do it.' I was oh so thankful for those kind
words they were speaking.
Two things I have gleaned from this situation:
1. Do not eat, drink, buy, say, hear, touch, or see things
you are not supposed to, no matter how small the ‘nut’ may be if it is
surrounded by things you know you shouldn’t put in your mouth, or your life.
The condemnation that comes with it is not rewarding. Over a silly small little
nut? Yes, one small nut covered with sugar opens the door to ‘now you need to
try this’.
2. For any of us who have said to friends, ‘oh one bite,
drink, look, purchase, or touch isn’t going to hurt’ or ‘I won’t let you have
any more than one bite’. We must realize that we will not be with the person
when they get alone and have to make the choice for themselves. It is best not
to put pressure on a person to eat, drink, say, feel, see, or touch things THEY
KNOW THEY ARE NOT TO DO. It may not be your conviction to live the way the
person you are trying to talk into doing something against their will, but
honor your friend enough to live and choose the way they want to live without
pressuring them to go against their strategies for a healthy life.
I AM NOT blaming my friend and I want you to know this
friend is dear to my heart still. What it has done for me is make me stronger,
but I also have had to fight a mind battle because I gave in. I realize I was
introduced to a new tactic, new to me in this area of my life, of how the enemy
of my soul longs to trip me up on my healthy lifestyle journey. I also realize
I now have ammunition to fight against this tactic and ones to come.
It’s Thursday and I weigh on Mondays and Thursdays. I am up
a total of 11.4 pounds since July. No it is not about how much I weigh but
about health. Weighing is just a measurement. Sure, I have a goal weight but
most importantly I have a healthy idea of what I believe the Lord has called me
to and I am not there. Weighing keeps me in check and keeps me accountable to others
and myself.
Again, I do not blame my friend, though I must admit, I was
angry with this person for being what I would consider to be – pushy, but what
I was most angry about is I was not prepared for what transpired that night and
made the wrong choice
I would like to leave you with this thought for today and
every day: Celebrate wise choices and correct poor choices.
